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Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happily Ever After?

“The word happiness would lose it’s meaning if it were not balanced by sadness” – Carl Jung

disney princesses

When I was young I imagined a fairy tale-esque life. A quaint cottage, draped in colorful flowers, nestled just outside of a small village, where everyone knew and looked after one another. A funny pet sidekick, always an obedient dog, feisty cat or trusty steed. A beautiful singing voice that made even the song birds stop to listen and of course, a handsome and doting prince charming. Tiny, minute details changed over the years (three cherub faced babies, two boys and a girl, resurfaced from time to time) but the idea was always the same, I wanted my own happily ever after. Now I’m living in a small city in southern Florida (far from a fairy tale), with three aging pets, a voice that would stop birds (but not for good reason) and a bearded prince that is sick of doting on me. I’m no princess either; I’m far from elegant and graceful.

But does anyone actually believe that Cinderella, Belle, Ariel and all those other princesses really danced off into the sunset, with their prince and lived happily ever after? There wasn’t one disagreement about Prince Charming never picking up his dirty laundry? Belle never lost her mind over the fact that Beast left beard trimmings all over the sink….AGAIN? Prince Eric never got an earful from Ariel about not visiting her folks enough?

Happily ever after’s aren’t realistic.

This post is a bit more cynical than previous posts I’ve written. Which is sort of the point. In the famous words of Maroon 5, “life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along”. It’s gonna rain sometimes, even on the day you planned a picnic. You’re gonna feel sad sometimes, even though for weeks you’ve been nothing but chipper. You’re gonna feel inadequate sometimes, even though everyone around you makes you feel like you’re worth it, and I’m here to tell you; that’s okay. What’s not okay is not making a compromise with yourself to move on from that feeling, even when it feels impossible to come to an agreement. “I feel bad today; I’m not going to do anything but lay around, reading and ignoring the world, but tomorrow I’ll go for a bike ride and, call my friend who’s been wanting to make plans, to go out for coffee”. Hoarding yourself in your bedroom won’t fix your problems, trust me, I’ve tried this method.

Happily ever after’s aren’t realistic.

Finally, what I mean by this is that you’re not simply going to have everything fall into place, and be happy for the rest of your existence. It’s just not a pragmatic approach to life. We need to feel pain; endure and overcome it, to see how strong we really are. We need to fail so we can appreciate our successes, that much more. We need negatives and positives to balance out our lives.

Until next time,

The Greenest of Blues

 

 

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