This wasn’t a traditional leave of absence; I wasn’t searching for a greater meaning, or broadening my horizons. No, I remained in Southern Florida, working, saving money, trying to stay out of trouble. The monotonous routine, I can only imagine, didn’t help my ongoing writers block which has plagued me for months. I know we’ve all been there.
I was so full of passion when I first started this blog, but after a certain relationship unraveled in my life, that fire burned out. I knew I just needed time to feel my grief, my anger and to let those emotions overcome me, ultimately helping me grow as an individual. I just didn’t realize how much time would go by.
It truly wasn’t even the lose of the relationship that had me floored, but the understanding of what happened to me while I was in it. The acceptance of not just their wrongs, but mine as well. It consumed my mind. I didn’t miss the relationship but I missed every sign of it going down hill; how did I miss the signs? The answer was surprisingly simple (seeing as it took so long to get there). I didn’t miss them. I saw every sign, and ignored them, pretended it was my imagination, or my fault, or their mistake. Why would someone do that, you ask? Allow me to introduce you to a favorite quote of mine, from an incredible book that I’ll never forget.
“We accept the love we think we deserve” – Stephen Chbosky, “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”
I had accepted a violent and turbulent love with open arms. I couldn’t blame it on having no where else to turn. I could only blame it on the image I had of myself, the idea that I was only worth this kind of love, and to simply accept it or be alone.
I am happy to report; I am blissfully alone.
And now that I seem to be in a more comfortable place, I’d love to get back to writing my blog and engaging with you wonderful people out there. I want to reignite my flame and forge my words in it. I’d like to finally and hopefully, successfully, pursue a passion I have for so long cast aside, or told myself I was not good enough to go after. I just need a little help in doing this.
Does anyone have any tips for writers block? Maybe your own personal practices, or something you’ve read about somewhere?
Maybe just some words of wisdom or encouragement?
Any bit helps.
Until next time,
The Greenest of Blues